The Adventures of Tak and Annah: ZOMG It's George!
by bauerfreak
Summary: Self-serving ridiculous humor fic. What would you do if you and your best friend ran into Nick Stokes in Las Vegas? Cowrite with lostladyknight.


_A/N: So, this fic is very self-serving. Lostladyknight and I loooove George Eads and Nick Stokes, of course, and that's what inspired this, uh…insane twelve page of complete nonsense. Nyrhtak Knight is LLK, and Annah Bauer is bauerfreak. Please know we're obviously very exaggerated and we took liberties I'm sure with the legal system. Without further ado, please enjoy (and review!)… _

After months of impatient waiting, Nyrhtak Knight and Annah Bauer were finally roaming the glamorous streets of Las Vegas, Nevada. Best friends since a chance meeting at a gynecologist's office, Annah and Nyrhtak (Tak for short) had long dreamed of visiting Sin City and experiencing all the sights, sounds, and gambling of the famous town. Best of all, they had tickets to the greatest show in town. No, not Siegfried and Roy. Not Celine Dion. It was The Thunder From Down Under – a male strip show based in Australia. Eight hot, ripped, delicious Aussies prancing around for their entertainment, for only 49.95 (plus tax). And they had VIP seating.

"So, are you really ready to see some male genitalia?" Annah asked Tak on the way to the Excalibur Hotel and Casino, where the event was held.

"I'm so ready! After this I can die a happy woman," Tak responded to her friend with a sly grin. "I only hope they measure up. I'm sick of seeing small guys try to put on shows. There's nothing sexy about a millimeter peter."

Annah laughed at her friend's comment and was about to respond when she was distracted by something. Two of the guys from the show came wandering out of a restroom about three feet from them. She grabbed her friend's arm and pointed them out. "Holy package Batman," was all she could say. The taller of the two men was almost bulging out of his jeans.

"Ohhh yeah," Tak sighed in response. Annah had to hold her back from following the men back into the dressing area. Not that she wanted to see them putting any clothes _on_.

"Down, girl." Annah reminded her over-zealous companion, tugging her arm in the direction of the audience area. The shorter guy gave them both a wink, and it took all Annah had not to gravitate towards the decidedly buff man. The last thing they needed was a sexual harassment charge.

Annah managed to drag her friend to the auditorium, which was already buzzing with the sounds of excited, under-sexed women hoping to catch a glimpse of something largely, enormously pleasing. As they found their seats, Annah and Tak realized they were actually in the first row.

"We're close enough to touch their packages!" Annah exclaimed.

Tak merely mumbled something about how that wasn't all she was going to touch and then got distracted by something else. Annah followed her friend's gaze and immediately figured it out. There was a man standing just off of the stage dressed in what looked like some sort of law enforcement uniform. He was a dead ringer for the two's favorite small time movie actor, George Eads.

They had both watched "Just A Walk In The Park" more than a thousand times. He was, as they had decided years before when they'd first met, the sexiest man alive. If this guy was going to be one of the dancers, their nights had just gone from amazing to heavenly.

"We've got to get him to talk to us," Tak said, her voice desperate. "That could really be him!"

"We have to make him," Annah responded, already thinking up a plan.

"But how are we going to do that?" Tak asked, at that point willing to go along with anything her friend suggested. It was George Eads!

"Well," Annah said still thinking out loud. "What if we... uh... steal one of his props?"

Both of then looked immediately at the kit that he was carrying around in his hand. If they got their fingers on that surely he wouldn't be able to go on. He'd have to track them down and ask for it back and when he did they'd get to be alone with him. Both of them swooning as they thought up a plan for how to do it, they were becoming even more giddy. Even if he wasn't George Eads, he sure did look like him and that was enough.

The two girls conjured up a plan to sneak out to the hallway just by the stage and hope for the best. Security around Vegas Casinos was tight to say the least, and they didn't want to chance getting arrested. Curiously, as they reached the hallway, they noticed crime scene tape wound across the entrance to the performer area. Tak and Annah glanced at each other in confusion, and worked their way over as close as they could get.

"There he is!" Annah loudly whispered as they reached the door and saw whom they assumed was George Eads hunched over a body. If he was rehearsing for his on-stage acting, he was sure doing a convincing job. They watched as he snapped shots of someone obviously playing dead, and cocked his head to the side to examine the man closely.

"His arms are freakin' amazing." Tak oozed as she took in his well-built arms, which were being shown off by a short-sleeved black t-shirt.

"Look at his ass." Annah whispered as George turned, giving them a breathtaking view of his marvelous, jean-clad butt. "They need to make a sculpture out of it. Who cares about the David?"

He had a short conversation with another man, who had 'Coroner' printed on the back of his jacket. Man, they were really doing a good job of staging a mock crime scene. Only, the coroner wasn't really that hot, honestly. George nodded a few times, and then put his camera back in the case. The girls' hearts skipped a beat when he turned around and happened to lock eyes with them both as he walked towards the hallway. He ducked under the crime scene tape and stood back up straight, only inches from Annah and Tak.

"Scuse me, ladies." He nodded at them politely. Both girls pretty much forgot how to speak for several long moments, and almost missed their chance altogether.

They watched him use his foot to push the kit he had in his hands back beneath the crime tape and then wander away towards the restroom. "I think he touched me," Annah squealed.

"Well he TALKED to me," Tak teased back, swooning in the direction of the men's room. "I think I'm in love."

"He talked to both of us," Annah said. "He only touched me."

"Whatever," Tak said to her and turned towards the kit. There was a rubber glove sticking out of it, she reached down and tugged on it but the kit slid slowly towards her. Another, more forceful, tug freed the latex. Slipping it over her hand she looked around her and then picked up the kit by its handle. The weight of it surprised her. "Let's get out of here."

She and Annah giggled as they snook away down the hall never fully leaving the sight of the supposed crime scene. "I wonder what's inside," Annah asked as they stopped.

"I don't know," Tak said, shaking it a little. "It sure is heavy though."

"Open it."

"You."

"No, you."

"I stole it, you do it."

"No, I'm scared. Just open it."

"I'm not gonna do it."

They were so caught up in their arguing, they didn't even see him approaching them. Out of the corner of his eye, he'd seen the girls go back over to the crime scene tape and swipe his kit. He'd heard of criminals returning to the scene of the crime, sometimes for sourvenirs, but if these two ladies thought they were getting away with his crime kit, they had something coming.

Annah and Tak heard someone clear their throat from behind. They stopped dead in their motions and turned around to see the man of their dreams, with quite an annoyed look on his face. It was the hottest thing they'd ever seen.

"George Eads?" Tak sputtered, completely forgetting they'd just swiped his prop.

"Nick Stokes, actually." He corrected them, pointing to his badge. "LVPD. You wanna tell me why exactly you have my crime scene kit, there?"

They both gulped, but still stared at him wide-eyed. Even if he wasn't George Eads, they were well aware their eyes had the privilege of staring at quite possibly the hottest man on earth.

"Oh…well…um," Annah scrambled. "Aren't you part of the show?"

Mr. Stokes chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck as he studied his shoes momentarily. The sexiest laugh lines appeared on his face, and it was a wonder Annah and Tak didn't jump on him then.

"Hell no," He told them, slightly flattered, but he knew he needed to stay all-business. "I'm a criminalist, and you just stole police property."

"Snap," Tak said in a low voice as she realized their mistake. When she wasn't being a giggly, bubbly, sex-craving fangirl she was actually an intelligent person. So was Annah. "We didn't know. Uh, we didn't take anything or open it. We just... thought... you were uh... George Eads. You know, that actor? You look just like him."

"I haven't ever heard of him," The criminalist said back to them, his Texan accent showing itself a little bit and making them both tingle. "Now, ladies, may I have my kit back?"

"Yeah," Annah said to him, passing the kit over to him. He reached out to take it with his left hand and she couldn't help but notice that he wasn't married. "So, was someone really hurt?"

"I'm afraid so," Nick told them. "You didn't happen to see anything, did you?"

"No," they both told him in unison.

"We kinda just thought it was all part of the show," Tak admitted. "It sucks that someone actually got hurt."

"You got that right." Nick agreed as he knelt down and opened his kit back up. He did a quick glance-over to make sure the two ladies were actually telling the truth, that they hadn't touched anything inside. "Unfortunately, someone's dead."

He let his case snap closed again, perfectly dramatically timed, as if they were on a TV show or something. Nick stood up with his hands on his hips. "And you two just made yourselves persons of interest."

Annah's mouth opened on its own accord. "P-persons of interest?"

Nick nodded, all-business. "Suspects. I'm gonna need to take you in for questioning." He motioned with his hand, and two uniforms walked over, dangling handcuffs.

"But it was just a case of mistaken identity!" Tak argued, horrified that she was now being cuffed. Annah kicked her with one of her legs, thinking that sounded awfully suspicious. Tak glared at her friend, "What? All we did was come to see some grade-A packages, and we happened to think you were George Eads!"

"That's enough." Nick told them as he stepped aside to let the officers take them away.

The younger of the two, Tak, was beginning to feel vulnerable as they started to march them towards a police squad car. "Do you think they're going to send us to prison?"

"No," Annah told her, though her voice betrayed that she wasn't so sure. "We didn't do anything wrong. That Mr. Stokes will clear us."

Just before they were pushed in to the back seat of the car, Tak looked up at the officer that was in charge of transporting them. "We didn't do anything wrong and we're willing to cooperate with you guys in any way you want. Can you please take these cuffs off of us? They're making me feel like a convict."

"Miss," the officer told her, "I'm not allowed to take 'em off once they're on. When we're at the station you can ask Captain Brass to remove them, it's his call."

Tak and Annah both rolled their eyes. At least they'd been allowed to ride in the same car. Usually people were separated and transported in different vehicles. "This sucks." Annah said, her voice just above a whisper. "We're gonna miss the show."

Tak let her forehead fall against the glass of the window as the cruiser pulled away from the casino. There would be no male package-viewing for her this evening. She couldn't believe how quickly the evening had changed. Both girls were silent for several minutes as they were driven around the unfamiliar town. Soon, Annah cleared her throat and leaned forward a little to talk to the officer.

"Excuse me." She called to the officer, causing him to turn his head to the side a little. "That Mr. Stokes guy that had us arrested…is he, uh…is he going to be at the station?"

"Most likely." The officer answered, looking in his rearview mirror. "He'll want to question you about your whereabouts, why you're in town, and he'll want to collect your prints."

Annah nodded a little and sighed. "Um…I know you probably don't get this question a lot, but…could I request a strip search?"

The officer turned his head almost enough to look straight at her. "Excuse me?"

Annah cleared her throat and composed herself. "Um…a strip search? Does Mr. Stokes perform those?"

Tak couldn't believe her ears and from the sounds coming from the front of the car the officer couldn't either. Her reaction, however, was a little different from the stunned gasping the officer was doing. If Annah hadn't already been her friend, Tak would want her to be.

"Uh, no miss," the officer finally answered. "We have another officer who is assigned to do that. I'm sure a strip search won't be necessary though."

"Oh," Annah said, sounding sad. "Do you think you could give me his phone number then?"

Tak had to admit that she admired her friend's guts as she listened to the exchange. She never would have been brave enough to say half of those things to a total stranger. Sure, she'd joke with Annah anytime but these were cops!

Soon, they had reached the police station, and they were both lead to a processing room, where they would be printed. Annah went first, stepping forward to an average-looking table, where another male officer was ready to take their fingerprints.

"Name?" He asked, no-nonsense.

"Annah Bauer." She told him, "A-n-n-a-h."

The officer scribbled it down, his eyebrows furrowing. Who the heck spelled Anna with an 'h' on the end? Annah could easily decipher that look. She'd seen it thousands of times in her twenty-some years on this earth. "It's my parents' fault. I would never put a freakin' silent 'h' on the end of Anna. It's not like it's pronounced "Anna-huh."

The officer took no notice. "Right hand, please." He told her methodically. The officer guided each of her fingers to an ink pad, and then onto a special piece of paper. Tak was up next, and the procedure was repeated.

"Name?"

"Nyrhtak Knight." Tak told him. "It's Norweigian."

The officer raised his eyebrows but didn't comment. Soon she had been printed, and both were lead into an interrogation room. The room was not inviting to say the least. Gray walls greeted them, along with a sterile-looking table and chairs. A mirror was suspended on one of the walls, which Tak proceeded to eye suspiciously.

"You think he's behind there watching us?" She whispered to Annah. Her friend looked over at the large mirror and narrowed her eyes.

"Maybe. You think we should flash ourselves just in case?"

Tak ran her fingers along the edge of her shirt as though she was going to raise it and flash the mirror but at the last second she pulled her fingers away and winked at her reflection. She knew that they were two-way mirrors. Finally she walked back over to the drab table and pulled out a chair to sit down. Annah followed her lead.

"So how long do you think it'll be before they figure out we didn't kill anybody?" She asked her friend. Annah's calm demeanor worked wonders on calming her down, herself. "It was one of the dancers, right?"

"Yeah," Annah agreed. "I wonder what happened. There wasn't any blood or anything, I couldn't even tell he was dead."

"Me either," Tak said. "I really hope they catch whoever it was that really killed him, it would suck for his family if they never did."

Annah was about to repsond again when they were interrupted by someone coming in to the room. Much to their pleasure, it was Nick. "Okay ladies, I'm going to have to ask you two a few questions."

"Are you going to interrogate us?" Tak asked, eagerness in her voice. "Because, that's totally okay if you want to."

"Uh, something like that," Nick told her. "First things first. Which one of you is Annah and which is Nyrhtak?"

"I'm Annah." Annah raised her hand off the table, as if to wave. "And I'm very single." She winked at the decidedly sexy officer. Nick cleared his throat and tried to focus on the pad of paper in front of him. He had to admit, Annah and Nyrhtak were quite the pair of attractive ladies, but unfortunately he wasn't at a night club where he could start flirting back.

"Duly noted." He remarked, and glanced up at Tak. "And that would make you…" He squinted his eyes at her name. "Nyrhtak. Am I saying that right?"

Tak smirked at him seductively. "You said it just perfect." She took her voice down low.

Nick cleared his throat and leaned forward in his chair. This wasn't the first time suspects had flirted with him. "Alright, look. I'm letting you stay together right now, but all these flirty comments need to stop. I can have you separated…"

He could tell they were enjoying this all too much. Annah butted in "Maybe you should cuff us again and interrogate us separately, and if we don't cooperate…"

"Enough!" He raised his voice a little, and they both squirmed.

"You can call me Tak," Tak said, winking at him. "And uh... what do you want to know?"

"Well, why exactly is it that you were back stage anyway?" Nick asked them, ignoring the rest of their overly flirtatious body language. "And what brings you to Vegas?"

"We went back stage because we wanted to lift your kit," Tak admitted, fielding the first question honestly. "We thought you were the actor, George Eads and it was one of your props." She reached in to her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Opening it, she showed him the image that was set as the background. "See, you look just like him."

"I don't see the resemblance," Nick said. His face pulled into a tight scowl. It was a sexy look on him but also the only way he was any different from the image of George. "Now, tell me again what you're doing here?"

"We never answered you the first time," Annah responded. "We're here for a ladies' week. You know, see the sights, gamble, take in a show or two."

Nick nodded. "And since when does ladies' week include stealing stuff from cops?" He asked them, raising his eyebrows.

Tak sighed and sat up straighter. "We told you, we didn't know you were a cop. We never would have taken it if we knew." She told him honestly.

Nick sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, and studied the two girls silently for a few moments. He was so sexy when he was ticked off. His squared jaw and his suspicious eyes made them feel all warm and fuzzy. After a few moments, Nick opened up a file folder and pushed a man's photo towards them.

"Have you seen this man before?" He asked them.

The girls looked at the photo, squinting their eyes. "He was on the website." Annah told him. "He's from Thunder From Down Under."

Tak seemed to agree. "Yeah, but I never saw him in person."

"Is that the one who was killed?" Annah asked, looking closely at the photograph."I think his name was supposed to be something like Ranger Ricky."

"Richard Edmonds," Nick told them. "Yeah, he's the one who was killed. You've never seen him before?"

"Like I said," Tak told him. "Only on the website when we went on to order the tickets."

"Okay," Nick sighed and then gave a long look at the photograph. Then passing a few more images to the girls he asked, "What about any of these people?"

"That girl," Annah said, pointing to a photograph of a girl in disheveled looking club style clothing. "She was in the main lobby with us and a group of other women before the show but then she just kinda vanished. I don't know where she went."

"Yeah that's right," Tak said, as she remembered. "She went off with that guy, Ricky. Acted like she knew him."

"Did you happen to catch her name?" Nick asked, finally feeling like he might be getting somewhere with them. "Or, didn't you get that far?"

Annah and Tak looked at each other, searching each other's faces for any sort of recognition of the girl. After a few moments they both shrugged a shoulder and shook their heads.

"I…I don't recall ever catching her name." Annah admitted, messing with her fingernails self-consciously. She couldn't help thinking about how she imagined Nick could kiss. Damn, she bet he was amazing at it. Bravely, she continued, leaning forward. "You know what's a real crime? Those muscles of yours being hidden by that shirt…"

"Alright," Nick was acting all flustered and teed off that Annah continued to flirt with him. "You _are_ aware you could be charged with a crime here?"

Tak elbowed her friend in frustration. There was flirting, and then there was harassment. Annah seemed to be walking a fine line. Nick just eyeballed them, his expression very serious, for several prolonged moments, though Annah was sure that deep down, he just wanted to sweep her off her feet, take her to his apartment, and have his way with her.

"Officer," Nick motioned with his hand towards the two-way mirror for a uniform to come into the room. Moments later, he appeared dangling handcuffs. "Please take Tak to holding room two. I'll send Greg in there."

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

"And that's how it all began," Tak said to her daughter, throwing an arm over her shoulder and pulling her close. Then looking around the room at her friend Annah and all of their progeny, she couldn't help but laugh as she made the next statement.

"I walked in to the other interrogation room and your father was just as sweet as could be, not as high strung as Uncle Nick. He listened to what I had to say and actually believed us that we weren't responsible."

Annah laughed too, "Nicky got more and more uptight the more I flirted with him that night. Three hours after that case went to trial he called me up and asked if he could buy me dinner... he came over to pick me up but we never made it to the restaurant."

She winked at her own daughter, "Greg and Tak snuck around that first two months before the trial, but Nick and I didn't want to risk his job so we waited. It was the longest sixty days of my life."

Seven sets of young eyes looked up at their respective mothers. They always loved to hear the story of how their parents had met so many years ago. Three of Tak's kids grinned at their mom, but the oldest, who was now a teenager looked a bit disgusted.

"So what you're saying is you and dad couldn't keep your hands off each other? Not for even one night?" Elisa asked her mom, inching away from her slightly. Annah and Tak smiled at each other knowingly. No sane woman could possibly keep her hands off Greg or Nick if given the opportunity.

"That's the night you were conceived, Elisa." Tak informed her. She'd never indulged her daughter in that part of the story. Embarrassing her a bit was kind of fun at this age, because teenage girls could be quite dramatic.

"Barf." Annah's oldest daughter, Kaitlyn, pretended she was upchucking. She was almost the exact same age as Elisa. They were born only a few months apart. Kaitlyn was the oldest child of Nick and Annah's, and had a younger brother and sister.

"And you were conceived within hours of the trial ending, Katie." Annah said. Kaitlyn's head whipped around to look at her mother, equally disgusted as Elisa was.

At fourteen, the oldest girls made a bigger deal of things than seemed necessary and it always managed to spill down to the younger children. The twins, eleven year old girls, Kaia and Kari chuckled quietly between them. Having just had sex ed in school, they actually had an idea of what their mother and aunt had been talking about. Always wanting to be a part of the joke the baby of her family, nine year old Josefina, broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Oh shut up Josie," Elisa spat at her younger sister. "It's not like you get it."

Jake, Annah's ten year old son and the only boy between them, broke out in laughter at this. It wasn't that he got what was going on, he didn't, but seeing the little girl put in her place brought him pleasure. Josie was a notorious torturer of the older kids, always breaking their things and getting away with it because she had her father wrapped around her little finger.

Annabelle, his younger sister, idolized Josie, who still played with her even though she was three years older, and always came to her defense. "Shut up Jake," she said slapping her older brother hard with an open palm, "It's not funny."

"Is too," he spat back at her and a bout of good natured quarreling almost erupted before Nick came into the room and cleared his throat. The insult Jake was about to spit back at his younger sister was completely forgotten and his mouth just fell open.

"Jake-Man," Nick said, "Come help uncle Greg and I get the burgers off the grill. Why don't you girls go set the table."

Nick and Annah's daughters got up and headed towards the kitchen. The gathering was in their house and that meant they were responsible for hospitality. Greg, however, had just come into the room too, "You heard him girls, go help."

"Daddy it doesn't take six people to set a table," Josefina whined at her father. "Can't I just stay in here with Mama and aunt Annah?"

Greg couldn't help but grin at his youngest, who he admitted to having a soft spot for. Ending up with four daughters had really taken a toll in their bank account. Even if he was a bit of a softie, he wouldn't let Josie get off without doing something. "Fine, but when it's time to do the dishes, you'll be front and center." He compromised, observing that Josie seemed particularly entranced with whatever they'd been discussing.

"Okay, Dad." She agreed, and looked up at her mother again. "So how about me, Mama? When was I conceived?"

Greg's shoulders fell and he let out a huge sigh when it registered what all the women had been talking about. "Tak?" He questioned her, "Seriously? Again? Haven't you told the story of how we met enough times?"

Tak had to chuckle at her husband's opposition. He'd been having a hard time accepting that his girls were getting older now, and were starting to learn more about the ways of the world, and how exactly babies were made.

"They like to hear it, Gregory." Tak simply said, and turned back to her youngest daughter, who waited impatiently to hear the story. Greg rolled his eyes and quickly exited the room so he didn't have to listen. He made his way outside to help Nick and Jake with the burgers and hot dogs.

When he arrived, Nick held a plate next to the grill as Jake very slowly used the spatula to take each hamburger and hot dog off the grill. "Good job, man." Nick praised his son as he got down to the last three. He noticed Greg was looking a bit disturbed. "You alright?"

"They're talking about baby-making in there. And the story of how we met Annah and Tak." He complained.

"Lighten up man," Nick said. He'd always been a closet-case hopeless romantic. "It's a good story. Besides the girls are all into that sort of thing."

Greg resisted the urge to pout and instead turned his attention back to his nephew. He and Tak had discussed trying one more time for a boy but the truth was they were both afraid that they'd end up with a fifth girl, so he'd taken to spending as much time with his friend's son as possible. "You want to make up those last few burger patties and throw them on the grill?" He asked his ten-year-old assistant.

"Okay," Jake said with a half smile at his uncle and then very carefully dropped a patty on to the grill. He caught his finger on the hot surface, pulling it back quickly. "Damn it!" he exclaimed but there were not water works, no tears. With Greg's girls, that wouldn't have been so easy.

"You alright bud?" Nick asked, only partially concerned.

Greg shook his head and chuckled to himself. Things sure had changed a lot since the day fifteen years before when Tak and Annah had boldly decided to take matters into their own hands and steal Nick's evidence kit. It had changed for the better, no doubt about it. The way it had happened never ceased to make them all laugh.

Nick looked over at his best friend. "What?" He smirked a little.

"Nothing." Nick shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I just always wonder what would've happened if I wasn't working that night. I mean, what if Grissom took Tak into the other room?"

Nick laughed a little humorlessly, not really wanting to think about that. "Well, she's never had a thing for old men, has she?"

"I hope not."

Just then, Annah and Tak both wandered outside to check the progress they were making with the burgers. Both easily slipped into their husbands' arms and received a sweet kiss. As Nick pulled away from his wife, she stealthily grabbed his ass and squeezed.

"Heyyy." He laughed, "There's kids around."

Annah giggled and leaned in to kiss him again, letting her lips linger. Tak rolled her eyes at her best friend. After fifteen years, Nick and Annah still had trouble keeping their hands to themselves.

"Get a room." They heard Elise yell from inside the house.

Annah and Nick smiled as they kissed again. Annah took her voice down low and leaned in to Nick's ear. "I don't know if I ever told you. But that night we didn't go to dinner, I got a way better show than I would've gotten at the Thunder From Down Under."


End file.
